


Chrysanthemum Heart

by TheKrystalSakura



Series: Detroit: Become Flowers [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Disease, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), Josh is the Protective Best Friend, M/M, Markus is oblivious, Pining, Simon is a shy boy, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-09 16:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15271743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKrystalSakura/pseuds/TheKrystalSakura
Summary: Hanahaki AUTwo months after the revolution, Simon began to feel... Off. He knew about his crush on Markus, but didn't think that it would mean much.Everything changed when he started puking petals.





	1. Budding Feelings

It was two months since the revolution; two months since Markus and North had officially gotten together. Simon always acted like the couple being all lovey-dovey didn’t bother him, despite knowing that wasn’t true. He should have known that he had no chance with Markus, and he scolded himself for it regularly.

He hated admitting that he was jealous. He hated that a heaviness hung in his chest whenever the two would hold hands. He hated that whenever they leaned in to kiss, he would look to his hands or anywhere else to avoid the affectionate display. He hated the pounding in his chest whenever Markus did so much as look his way. He hated that unlike North, he would sacrifice himself for the other man.

He hated that he wasn’t happy for them.

He hated that he loved Markus so much.

When he first got the cough, he thought nothing of it. He’d coughed as routine maintenance before, and paid it no mind. But when the small fits began, he grew worried. Nothing seemed wrong, from what he could tell physically, so he decided to forego an analysis.

Ten days later, he spat up thirium. He grew rigid and nervous. Why would he be coughing up blue blood? But then he looked closer at the sapphire pool in his hands and noticed something… Strange, to say the least.

A small seed, which could have easily been missed. Simon frowned and dug it out of the blood. Upon closer inspection, and a quick analysis, he found it to be the seed of a white chrysanthemum. He frowned and ran a diagnostic test on himself, only to be even more surprised by the answer.

**[Organic Lifeform Detected]**

**[Location: Thirium Line]**

**[Specimen:** **_Chrysanthemum indicum_ ** **]**

**[Diagnosis: Hanahaki Disease]**

_Hanahaki disease?_ he wondered. He quickly searched for the term.

 **[Hanahaki Disease: Also known as “Flower Lungs” or “The Heartbreak Disease,” Hanahaki Disease spread from Japan to the rest of the world. Thought to be caused by unrequited love, those afflicted begin to grow various types of flowers in their lungs. The type of flower is found to correlate strongly with the widely-known** **_Language of Flowers_ ** **.]**

**[Symptoms of Hanahaki Disease include tingling in the limbs, chest pain, coughing, hemoptysis, nausea, vomiting, haematemesis, and death.]**

Simon shivered as he tried to think of his symptoms. So far there were only chest pain, coughing, and now, hemoptysis. With a deep breath, he decided to read on.

**[There are only two known cures to Hanahaki Disease. The first is surgical removal of the flowers. However, the removal of the flowers also seems to affect the patient’s neurological function, and causes the patient to lose their previous emotional attachment. The second option is for the patient’s feelings to be returned.]**

**[Waiting for love related to Hanahaki Disease is extremely dangerous, as the disease can cause death within six months of the initial implantation. It is recommended that if you, or someone you know, is suffering from Hanahaki Disease, that you see your primary care physician and/or a psychologist.]**

Oh, this was so much worse than it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was primarily a setup/exposition chapter, so I'm sorry it's so short! I'd just hate to bore you all with explanations throughout the whole story.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I'll update soon.


	2. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time drags on, Simon's symptoms get worse.  
> Thank rA9 it's not obvious.

Over the next few days, Simon’s coughing becomes worse. He slowly begins to cough up more thirium, as well as multiple white chrysanthemum seeds and, now, a few petals. He always manages to hide the results of his Hanahaki Disease from the others, much to his relief.

About ten days later, Simon exits standby mode only to feel a pain in his left arm. He grumbles and looks to the limb, eyes wide at what he sees. A white chrysanthemum has broken off a small piece of his plasteel outer shell, and bloomed. He quickly runs another diagnostic, and finds that the ivory blossom has sprouted from his thirium line.

Simon manages to cover the flower with his clothes, and nobody notices the bump on his arm.

Thank rA9 for small favors.

He goes through his day as if nothing is wrong. Since Jericho took over CyberLife’s operations, he’s been put in charge of managing the creation of replacement parts for current models. He wanders around his assigned portion of the facility and tries not to let on that the arm with the hidden flower is causing him pain.

When Markus and North come in to oversee the current progress, he has to fight back the urge to cough. The thirium/plant life mixture has become more prominent whenever he coughs, but he can’t let them know.

He’d rather die than tell them that he was suffering.

However, when Markus and North cuddle close, smiling at each other like they’re all that matters in the world, Simon can’t hold it back. He quickly pulls out a handkerchief and coughs - more like chokes - into it. The poor cloth has been covered in so much thirium over the past few days that it should probably get replaced.

When the couple finally leaves, Simon feels a heavy weight - heartbreak - in his chest.

This damn disease is definitely going to kill him.

 

The next morning rolls around, and Simon finds that another chrysanthemum has sprouted from his body overnight. This time, it’s located on his right hip. He sighs and dresses in his normal clothes again, trying not to cringe with each painful step.

The symptoms only get worse as the days continue.

Each morning, he finds a new, painful blossom on his body. Each day, he acts as if nothing is wrong. Each night, he cries until he enters standby mode, because the heartache and physical pain are just too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another short chapter! I promise they will get longer.


	3. Bloom Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon does a bit more research and finds out exactly how dangerous flowers can be.

Unable to enter standby one night because of the pain, Simon decides to do more research into the illness. When searching for cases where a patient began to grow flowers from their body, he only found cases involving androids suffering from the disease. One researcher was able to confirm that growth of flowers in the thirium pump was the cause of the illness. A second scientist noted that after about a month of infection, flowers began to grow out of the afflicted. A third doctor, however, noted something terrifying:

**[Hanahaki Disease in androids is rare, and extremely dangerous. Once the growths in the thirium pump begin to spread throughout the tubing system, the flowers bloom, breaking through the tubing system and the plasteel outer shell. It is not recommended to clip the blossoms, as the roots connect to the android’s thirium line. When a flower is cut, the remaining stem begins to slowly drain the android’s thirium supply.]**

Simon’s eyes widen and he gently places his hand on one of the flowers sprouting from his arm. Cutting them was _definitely_ not an option. So that left him three options.

Option One: Get surgery to remove the growths, and lose all feelings he has for Markus. He throws that idea out the window; there’s no way he’d want to lose his adoration for Markus.

Option Two: Suffer with the growths and hope that Markus loves him back. That also has a slim chance of happening… Markus is with North, and even if he wasn’t, Simon severely doubts that he could get him to love him back.

Which leaves him with only the third option: Suffer with the disease until it consumes him.

He doesn’t like that option, either. But he’ll take what he can get.

 

It’s two months later when he blossoms _really_ become a problem. They’re starting to cut off the thirium supply to his limbs, hindering his movement. There are also so many ivory flowers - approximately seventy-five - that Simon has to bundle up in multiple layers of extra-baggy clothing in order to keep his ailment a secret.

The others acknowledge Simon’s wardrobe change, but only to ask him if he’s cold. Simon nods when they ask and assures them that he’ll be fine. “I’ve never been good with cold weather,” he lies.

“Are you sure that’s all? You’ve got like three layers on,” North comments.

“Yeah, and you seem really uncomfortable,” Josh adds.

Simon nods and hugs himself, shaking a bit as he tries to ignore his pain. “Y-Yeah,” he says, forcing himself to stammer as if he’s cold, “I p-promise.”

“If you say so,” Markus says. He turns back to North and takes her hand. As they leave, Simon clears his throat to keep from coughing.

Josh, however, stays behind. “You sure you’re okay, man?” he asks, worried.

Simon sighs and nods. “I promise, Josh. I just don’t do well in winter.”

The darker-skinned man sighs. “Alright… But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know, Josh.”

“Good.” He turns and leaves.

 

When flowers start blooming on his hands a week later, Simon begins to panic. Hiding the flowers on his body was relatively easy; his hands, however, were going to be extremely difficult. He has to keep his hands uncovered in order to verify the creation of replacement parts.

His plan of keeping his illness a secret is starting to backfire.

But then, just before he leaves for work, he gets an idea. He takes a pair of scissors and carefully cuts a hole in his glove-like sleeves. The end result is a hole just big enough for the flower to poke through. If anyone asks, he can say it’s a bracelet or decoration.

Now he just has to hope it works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't as long as I'd like it to be, but I feel like I hit a good stopping point. I hope you all enjoy!


	4. Petal Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's secret can't stay hidden forever.

Three days later, Simon can barely function, he’s in such agonizing pain. His movements are noticeably shaky and forced, and he’s late for work more often. One morning, Markus, North, and Josh come in to check on the progress of maintenance parts. The former doesn’t seem to notice Simon’s symptoms, and tells him that he’s going a wonderful job. Simon holds back the urge to vomit through the whole interaction.

When the others leave, he rushes to the bathroom down the hall. He barely makes it into a stall before he’s on his knees, practically throwing up thirium-coated flower petals. It’s three minutes later that the sick feeling in his chest and stomach settle. He flushes the toilet and tries to stand, but his legs won’t cooperate.

“So there  _ is _ something wrong,” a familiar voice says from behind him. Josh is leaning in the doorway of the open stall, arms crossed. Concern is etched in his features as he watches Simon.

The blonde turns to him and wipes his chin on his sleeve, hoping that the darker-skinned man doesn’t notice the flowers blooming on the back of his palm. He smiles, albeit weakly. “Josh, it… It’s not what it looks like-”

“Oh, really? Because it looks like you’ve been hiding the fact that you’re sick.” He sighs and enters the stall, closing and locking the door behind him. He sits down on the floor next to Simon. “... So what’s really wrong? You’re vomiting, even though that shouldn’t really be possible. I don’t think you got the whole ‘convert food into biofuel’ upgrade.”

Simon sighs. “I didn’t.”

“So then what’s up? You’ve been super secretive for a while now… And I’m worried.”

Simon sighs and leans back, resting his head on his best friend’s shoulder. “... I didn’t want to bother anyone,” he mumbles, “But I guess it’s too late.” He rolls up his shirt sleeves, revealing easily two dozen chrysanthemum blossoms on his arms.

Josh’s eyes widen at the sight. “Simon, what the hell-?!”

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease,” he quickly explains, “It’s an illness that makes heartbroken humans grow flowers in their lungs. It can effect androids, too, except flowers grow out of their thirium line. The survival rate without treatment is six months at best.”

Josh’s shocked expression changes back to one of worry. “This is about Markus, isn’t it?” When Simon nods, the shorter android sighs. “I should’ve known. I should’ve asked what was wrong as soon as you started bundling up. How long has this been going on? A month? Two?”

“Closer to three.”

“ _ Three months?! _ ”

Simon sighs and nods. “Please don’t tell him, Josh,” he pleads weakly, “I don’t want him to worry.”

The other android sighs. “... I’ll try to keep this a secret for as long as I can. But you shouldn’t be here; I can see the way you struggle just to sit up straight. And if you’ve got flowers growing-” He pauses. “... Oh, rA9, those flowers are probably cutting off your thirium supply. No wonder you’re in so much pain!” He scrambles to a kneeling position and quickly scans Simon.

“Josh, please don’t-”

“Let’s see… Thirium flow is at-  _ Twenty-five percent?! _ ” he cries, “Simon, you’re dying!”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you  _ tell anyone?! _ No, you know what, I don’t want you to answer that.” He grabs Simon in a princess hold and stands up. “I’m taking you home.”

“Josh-”

“Nope, no excuses. You’re dying, you should be home resting.” The darker-skinned android carries Simon out of the building and over to the parking lot, where Josh has parked his car. Once he’s loaded Simon into the passenger’s seat, he clambers into the driver’s seat and starts the vehicle.

The drive home is tense and silent. When they arrive back to their apartment building, Josh takes Simon from the car and carries him up to their apartment, where he makes sure the other android is comfortably in bed. “I should probably get back to work… But if you need anything at all, call me. I’ll check in on you when I get home.”

“I know, Josh.” He sighs, exhaustion plain as day on his face. “... Thank you.”

“No problem…” Josh hugs him carefully before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it through my minor writer's block and managed to make a chapter that was three pages long!
> 
> The next few chapters will probably be longer ones as well, which I'm happy about.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!


	5. The Root of the Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus finally learns of Simon's ailment, and reacts accordingly.

Josh ends up taking over the replacement part production line while Simon is home on bed rest. The quality of the items don’t change, so it’s hard to tell that something’s wrong if you don’t enter the lab.

That doesn’t mean Josh isn’t pissed that nobody seems to notice Simon’s absence - or care about it.

It takes an entire week for Markus to notice.

He enters the room, about to speak, when he sees Josh in Simon’s chair. He falters in his steps and raises an eyebrow, confused. “Where’s Simon?” he asks as he looks around the room.

“You just noticed that he’s gone?” Josh scoffs, not looking up at him, “He’s been out of commission for a week.”

He can see the guilt manifest on Markus’ face in his peripheral vision. “A… A  _ week _ ?” he mutters, “How did I not notice…?”

“Probably because you’ve been so busy.” Josh’s tone is cold. “What with the media, Jericho, CyberLife, and North…”

Markus frowns and looks to the side for a moment. His silence is unusual, and causes Josh to look up at him. When the lighter-skinned android looks back to him, their gazes meet and Markus speaks.

“Take me to him. Please.”

Josh’s eyes widen and he looks back to the component he’d been working on. “... I… I don’t think you want to see him.”

“Why not?”

“It’s… Bad.”

Markus frowns. “Please, Josh. It’s been a whole week; I have to see him. I need to know what’s wrong.”

Josh debates it for a few moments. Simon asked him to keep his illness a secret, but Markus is the cause of the infection… Would bringing the other man to him make the illness worse, or could he hold the cure?

“... Fine. Meet me outside in five.”

 

When the five minutes pass, the two of them meet outside and head to the parking lot. Josh takes Markus to his and Simon’s shared apartment, which is eerily quiet. The former leads the way to Simon’s bedroom, and doesn’t even knock before opening the door to the dimly-lit room.

The sight before them is horrific, and Markus holds back a gasp.

Simon is laying on his bed with at least a hundred white chrysanthemums covering his frame, save for his neck and face. His lips are stained blue, and he’s surrounded by a pool of coughed-up thirium, seeds, petals, and whole flowers. His limbs and torso are severely damaged from the ivory blossoms making him their living garden. His chest rises and falls with heavy, slow, shaky breaths.

Markus quickly analyzes Simon’s condition and covers his mouth with a gasp.

He sees the chrysanthemum seeds, petals, and roots filling the blonde’s thirium line. It’s no wonder he can barely breathe, and likely can’t move. But the words below Simon are the most terrifying of all.

**[Thirium Flow: 10%]**

Simon had been hidden away in his room, unable to function and nearly dead. And Markus hadn’t taken the time to notice.

No, it wasn’t that he hadn’t taken the time. It was that he hadn’t  _ cared _ to notice.

Markus turns to Josh, fear in his eyes and worry in his voice. “What… What the fuck happened?! How long has this been happening?!”

“At least four months,” Josh answers. “He’s grown a flower a day for about the past three.”

“But  _ how _ did this happen?! I-”

“Markus…?” Simon’s voice asks weakly, “Is that you?”

The shorter android turns to the sickly one, and hurries to his bedside. He sits gingerly on the edge of the bed and holds Simon’s hand as the blonde struggles to breathe. “Yes, it’s me, Si. What… What happened? I… A-Are you okay? No, that’s a stupid question, you’re obviously not-” he rambles for a moment, only to be cut off by their mutual friend.

“He’s got Hanahaki Disease,” Josh nearly growls, “It’s an illness that afflicts the heartbroken. He’s been pining for you so hard that his body decided to fight him.”

Markus’ eyes widen and he looks between them. “He… He’s been  _ what?! _ ”

The other man’s eyes narrow. “White chrysanthemums symbolize loyalty and devotion. Who, specifically, is he so damn loyal to that this would happen? Who could he  _ possibly _ be so devoted to that he stays quiet long enough to nearly kill himself?” He crosses his arms. “Who do you think he’s so fucking heartbroken over?”

“I…”

“I’ll tell you who.  Someone who he wanted to confess to. Someone who never gave him a chance before jumping into a relationship with someone else. Someone who hasn’t noticed that he was  _ gone for a week. _ ”

Markus begins to panic, his heart rate rising. “But I… Why wouldn’t he tell me…?” He turns to Simon. “Why didn’t you say anything, Simon?”

Simon’s eyes fill with tears as he croaks out a single word; a name.

“North…”

The shorter android slumps a bit. “Simon… Simon, I can love more than one person,” he whispers. He gently squeezes his hand, trying not to look at the three blossoms sprouting from the limb.

Simon turns his head to the side and coughs violently, thick globs of thirium-covered plants staining his lips an even darker blue. “No,” he breathes out, “I can’t do that to you.”

“Simon, I love you. And I love North. I love both of you.”

The taller android is thrown into an even worse coughing fit, almost throwing up. He shakes his head as he coughs. “Friend,” he manages once the fit dies down.

“You see me as more than that. I do, too, Si.”

Simon’s breathing becomes even heavier, and tears fill his terrified eyes. “Hurts…”

Worried, Markus squeezes Simon’s hand tighter and gently places his free hand on the blonde’s cheek. “Simon!” he calls softly, “Si, don’t leave me…”

He sniffles and squeezes back weakly. “Hold… Me…?”

Markus nods and carefully maneuvers him so that he’s cradling Simon to his chest. He curls his arms around the taller android and gently shushes him, holding him tightly. “Please, Si, don’t go…”

The blonde leans into the touch and focuses on breathing, fighting off another coughing fit and biting back painful sobs. After a few moments, one of the blossoms sprouting from his body wilts and breaks off.

“... Simon?” Markus whispers, eyes wide. “Simon?!”

More flowers begin to wilt and separate from Simon. He coughs more, but the fit is less violent. Only petals, seeds, and the chrysanthemum’s roots are mixed with the thirium.

Markus breathes a sigh of relief and hugs Simon as close as possible. He holds him as his breathing regulates itself and returns to normal. His thirium flow slowly increases, and Markus begins to cry with relief.

“I wish you’d told me sooner,” he murmurs once most of the flowers have wilted.

Simon sniffles and shakes his head. He blushes softly when the shorter android leans down to give his forehead a gentle kiss, and covers his mouth as he coughs up more leftover chrysanthemums.

“Simon, I love you.”

He shakes his head again. “As a friend…” he breathes out.

“No.” He holds Simon’s hand and starts a connection as their skin peels back. Simon can see Markus’ perspective of a talk with North about his feelings for both her and Simon. To the blonde’s surprise, she accepts the words with a smile. He sees Markus looking at himself longingly. He feels his heart fill with Markus’ affections and adoration. He tries to weakly return the gesture, but can barely summon an “I love you” over their connection.

Markus, however, understands what he tries to say and places their foreheads together. “I love you, too,” he murmurs.

Simon tears up and curls into Markus’ arms, slowly drifting into standby mode.

 

When Simon wakes, Markus has left. Dead flowers cover the floor, and Josh is sitting in the armchair in Simon’s “reading corner,” waiting for him to wake.

“... Did Markus really come by earlier? Or was that a dream?”

“No, he was really here.” Josh doesn’t see the blonde smile as he turns to look out the window. “He left because he had to pick up North and take her home.”

Simon’s smile fades and he looks away. “... I see.”

 

He barely sleeps that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A seven-page, 1,300+ word chapter?! Yes, this is real life.
> 
> And yes, there is more to come.


	6. Perennial Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's not as okay as everyone thinks.

The next day, Simon dresses normally, instead of in his bulky winter clothes. He returns to work as if nothing happened, despite the many wounds covering his frame. From the moment he enters the CyberLife building, Markus is stuck to his side like glue. He doesn’t exactly fuss, but he’s obviously still concerned. After a few hours of being followed around the lab, Simon sighs. “I’m fine, Markus,” he says.

Markus frowns. “Si, are you sure?”

He nods. “I’ve been fine.”

“No, you haven’t. You’ve been sick… And I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” he asks, bitterness in his voice, “Because I could have died?”

Markus quirks an eyebrow and frowns at the tone. “Yes. That’s a pretty big factor.”

Simon scowls and turns back to his work without another word. He seems to shake and balls his hands into fists. After a few moments, he begins to cough, and he covers his mouth like he did while sick with Hanahaki.

Markus gently grabs his shoulder and turns him so that they’re facing each other, his eyes wide. “Simon?”

“I’m fine!” he chokes out, pulling his shoulder out of Markus’ grasp.

“Simon, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just-” He coughs again, a bit more violently this time. “M-My Hanahaki-”

“Is- Is it coming back?!” Markus’ voice is filled with worry, and a bit of fear. “Wh… Why would you be going into remission?”

He looks away, trying to hide his face. “I-I don’t know,” he says, voice quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“Si… It’s okay, I just… I want to help you.” He frowns. “Is there anything I can do?”

Simon shakes his head as tremors run through him. “You should have left me there…”

“What?”

“With the flowers. Every time I think of you, I feel more grow in my thirium line. I’m not good enough for you-”

“Simon…” Markus pulls him in for a gentle hug. “You’re more than good enough for me. I promise. I love you.”

He shakes his head again and hides his face in Markus’ shoulder. “rA9, I’m so-” He cuts cut off by a soft squeeze.

“You’re not a coward, if that’s what you’re about to say.”

It takes him a few moments of deep breaths to finally speak his mind. “I’m jealous.” He feels Markus run a gentle hand up and down his back, and his breath hitches when he feels soft lips pressed to his cheek.

“Of North?” Markus asks quietly.

Simon buries his face in Markus’ shoulder and sighs. “Yes…”

“I love both of you, Simon,” he murmurs. “She knows. She’s not upset. You can even ask her, if you don’t believe me.” Markus shifts so he can look Simon in the eyes. “I don’t want you to feel like I prefer her just because we connected first.”

Simon looks away and hugs himself. “... I can’t help it.”

“What can I do to help you?”

“You can’t. There is no help for me.”

“Of course there is, Simon.”

“No, there’s- Ugh!” He pulls out of Markus’ grasp and hugs himself tightly. Tears fill his eyes. “Just- Just leave me alone!”

Markus freezes, eyes wide. “Simon, please! I just- I want to help you. I don’t… I don’t like seeing you upset. I’m sorry.”

“You  _ can’t _ help me,” he whispers, “Just leave me to die with the flowers…”

“I’m not letting you die, Simon!”

“Why?! Because it’ll make you feel better?!” he snaps. His eyes narrow angrily.

“No! Because I  _ care _ about you!”

Simon is about to say something, but is thrown into a coughing fit, spitting up thirium and flower petals.

“Simon, believe it or not, I  _ do _ love you.”

“You-” He cuts himself off. “... Just shut up.”

“No! You need to hear it, Simon!”

“You love  _ her _ ! You don’t love me!” He covers his ears and tries to hold back angry, heartbroken tears. Despite his efforts, small rivulets begin to slide down his cheeks.

“I love both of you, Simon!” Markus peels back the skin of his hand, places theirs together, and attempts to start a connection.

Simon pulls away, stopping the connection before it even starts. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want you to choose.”

“I don’t have to choose, Si. I love both of you. We can figure something out, together.”

“How?! How when I’m still suffering with- With  _ this _ ?!”

“It could be that psychologically, you still don’t think I love you.”

He looks away. “... Help me.” His voice is soft and weak. “I can’t do this again…”

Markus gently takes both of his hands again. “How can I help, Simon?”

“I don’t know. I… I’m just so scared…”

The darker-skinned android pauses for a moment. “We could ask Lucy. She’s… Kind of a doctor?”

“No. I don’t want to bother anyone else with this.”

“She’s always here for us, Si. You need help and I… I don’t know what to do. But I want to figure it out.”

Simon sniffles and sighs. He looks to his feet and hides his face as he speaks. “... Okay.”

“Okay… Do you want to go now?” When he’s met with a nod, Markus squeezes Simon’s hands. “Okay. Follow me.” He leads the way out of the lab and down the street, toward Lucy’s small home in the suburbs. He looks over to Simon, who’s looking to their feet and trying to hide his face. “We’re almost there.” He squeezes Simon’s hand.

Simon blushes and chokes back a cough, still refusing to look up as thirium drips from his mouth.

“Si…”

“I’m okay,” he whispers.

“I can tell you’re not.”

“I promise, I’m…” He clears his throat. “I’m fine.”

“Si, I know you’re sick. You can be honest with me; what’s causing this?”

The blonde sighs and finally looks up to him. His lower lip and chin are coated in seed-and-petal-filled thirium. “I don’t know,” he says shakily, “I really, really don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, another semi-long chapter! And don't worry everyone - the cause of Simon's illness will be revealed soon!


	7. To Kill the Weeds of Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Lucy have a talk.

When they arrive at Lucy’s house, the damaged, blind android is sitting on her porch swing. She smiles, almost as if she’d known they were coming.

“Hello, Simon. Markus.”

Simon looks to his hands shyly, despite knowing that Lucy can’t see him. Markus ushers him up onto the porch, and he stands in front of the old woman. She reaches up and gently touches his shoulder. “Simon, come to the back room with me. Markus, wait here.”

Markus nods and stays on the porch as the other two enter the house. She takes him to the rear of the house and has him sit in an armchair. She sits across from him and gently takes his hands.

“Simon. Tell me - why are you still infected? It’s a truth only you can know. Hanahaki is a psychosomatic disease.”

Simon sighs and looks to their hands. “... He left when I was unconscious, and went to go take care of North. Whenever I see them together, I get so jealous… Because I know he’ll never love me like he does her.” He sniffles and wipes his eyes. “I don’t want to ask him to be mine, because it’s not fair to them. I’d rather die than… Than…”

Lucy hums softly and squeezes his hands gently. “Simon, the only way to fix this is for all of you to speak. Jealousy is always something that can be forgotten, or fade away into something new. Markus looks at you the same way he looks at North. Even a blind android like myself can see that.” She smiles. “You don’t need to suffer, Simon. You simply need to express your feelings to both of them, and you will find that things work themselves out.”

Simon sighs and gently squeezes back. “... I don’t want them to change how they act just because of me. Just because I’m jealous.”

“Simon, you may not want it, but talks will happen with or without you.”

Simon frowns, silently debating which option he’d prefer. Should he voice his concerns to them and risk changing the relationship the three of them have? Or should he keep quiet and continue to suffer in silence? He sighs. “I don’t know what to do. Markus… Markus deserves to be happy.”

“And he will be, with you. And if North stays, he will be happy with both of you.”

His frown deepens into a scowl. “I… If she leaves him, he’ll be miserable.”

“For a time, perhaps, but that is because he loves her just as much as he loves you. If you left, he would be just as miserable.” Lucy squeezes his hands. “It is not definite that she will leave - nothing is - and if she does, I know it will have nothing to do with you. It will have everything to do with her own heart deciding to find its own way.”

“How do you know it has nothing to do with me? They- They connected first. They should stay together, and forget that… That I exist.”

“Humans date, and humans break up. The same is true of androids. Just because they connected first doesn’t mean that they are most compatible.”

He sighs. “You act like  _ I’m _ compatible with him.” He sniffles as a few tears roll down his cheeks. A few moments later, he begins to cough, spitting up thirium and chrysanthemum petals.

“You are,” she says simply. “Pretending you aren’t because of your self-esteem is what’s killing you.”

“I’m not pretending!” he coughs out, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

“You are.”

“How?!” he grumbles, frustrated.

“You are insisting he would be better off without you, but never consider that he wants you as much as you want him. You insist that death would be preferable, knowing both his feelings and yours.”

Simon shakes his head and continues to cry. “He doesn’t love me, he… He’s just saying those things to make me feel better…”

“He loves you very much, Simon.”

He curls into a ball in the chair and cries, trying to keep quiet. “I… I-I love him so much…”

“I know, Simon. And he loves you, too.”

He hiccups softly. “I… I wanna go home…”

“Which one?” she asks gently. “You have Markus, and you have Josh, your mutual friend.  _ They _ are homes.”

Simon blushes brightly and looks away. “... Josh.”

Lucy nods. “Go ahead and call him. I need to talk to Markus himself once you are gone. I will keep what we’ve discussed confidential, but he needs to do some soul-searching of his own.”

Simon nods and quickly wipes his face before exiting the room.

 

It’s about ten minutes later when Josh arrives. Simon clambers into the car and watches out the window silently.

Josh frowns and glances to him. “You okay?” When he’s met with a shrug, he frowns more. “Simon, what’s up?”

Simon sighs and looks to him as he answers. “I’m getting sick again.”

The other’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I’m going into remission.”

“How? I thought-”

“It’s because I’m jealous.”

Josh sighs. “... Why? I mean, you know polyamory is a thing, right?”

“I know. I…” He looks back out the window. “... I feel like he’s just pitying me because I got sick.”

“He’s not, though. He was legitimately scared for you. Dude’s had a crush on you for a while, too.”

“Then why does it feel so forced?”

“I mean, the situation is a bit freaky, isn’t it?” he asks softly, “I mean, you did almost die, he’s freaking out, you’re insistent that you don’t deserve him, et cetera.”

“But he’s got North! She makes him happy! I’m… I’m nowhere in that equation.”

Josh gives him a look that says, ‘Are you kidding me?’ “ _ Dude _ . He’s polyamorous, he can love more than one person at a time. You both make him happy.”

Simon looks to his hands. “... How do  _ I _ make him happy?” he wonders aloud. His voice is soft, almost fragile.

“By existing? I dunno, man. You’re his best friend.”

Simon blushes brightly. “... So what do I do?” the blonde asks.

“Talk to him? It will probably help.”

“... That’s a lot easier said than done.”

“Well… I think you should do it.”

Simon sighs. “... Thanks, Josh.”

“You’re welcome, Si.” They arrive at their apartment after a few minutes, and Simon heads to bed for the rest of the night.


	8. Turning Over a New Leaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon, Markus, and North have a talk.

The next day, Markus is pacing around his home. North is watching him in silence from the sofa. “Why are you freaking out so much?” she asks after watching him for a solid fifteen minutes.

“Simon’s going into remission for his Hanahaki.” Markus crosses his arms and continues to pace.

North’s eyes widen. “Why? Do we know?”

He sighs. “I don’t know. I think he’s just… Jealous? Or thinks that I don’t really love him?”

“But didn’t you tell him that we talked? That you love him, too?”

“Yes! Of course I did!”

“Then why is he getting sick?”

Markus sighs and his shoulders slump. “... I don’t know.”

They’re both surprised to hear a sudden knock at the door. Markus, having already been standing, goes to answer it. On the other side is the aforementioned blonde. Simon’s head is dipped and he’s fiddling with his thumbs. When he realizes the door is open, he takes a deep breath and looks up to Markus.

“We need to talk.”

Markus’ eyes widen and he moves so that Simon can enter the house. “O-Of course, I… Are you okay?”

He nods and hugs himself once he’s off the front porch. “I… I’ll probably be better after we chat.”

“Okay…” Markus offers him a hand and frowns worriedly. “North is here… Do you want to talk to her, too? Or is it more private?”

Simon looks away and breathes calmingly. He doesn’t move to take Markus’ hand, and he’s almost shaking with how nervous he is. “It… It would be best if I talked to the both of you.”

“Alright.” Markus doesn’t force him to take his hand and instead leads him to the living room. Simon follows, looking to the floor as he enters the room. He looks up and gives North a shy smile. She waves back with a nonchalant smile.

Markus looks to Simon, concern still on his face. “So, uh… Take a seat? We can all talk.”

Simon nods and sits on a nearby loveseat. He looks away, fully expecting Markus to sit cuddled up to North. Markus, however, sits on a small chair between the two other androids, showing no favoritism. North doesn’t seem bothered by the action.

Simon breathes shakily, seeming more anxious. “I… I don’t know how to start this,” he admits quietly, “Other than I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Markus asks gently.

“Because it shouldn’t have gotten this far. I should have gotten over it.”

“‘It’ being… Us?” North asks softly, glancing to Markus.

Simon closes his eyes and nods. “R-Right.”

“Simon, I…” Markus sighs and glances at North. “... I loved you even when I was just starting to get together with North. I didn’t realize you loved me back, then. But I still love you, and I love her, too. You don’t need to be sorry about not getting over your feelings.”

Simon hugs himself and frowns. “... I don’t want you guys to change how you act because of me. I… I’d rather get sick a thousand times than effect how you treat each other.”

“Simon, North and I, we- We don’t have to change. I just… I want you to know that I love you as much as I love her.”

North nods. “Listen, Simon, I don’t mind if you’re dating Markus, too. I mean, no offense, but you’re not my type, so I won’t be banging you. Markus, though, is fair game so long as I get visitation rights.” She giggles a bit.

Simon blushes brightly and looks away. “... I don’t know why you’d want me,” he admits quietly.

“Because you’re amazing, Simon!” Markus replies without hesitation, “You’re brave, you’re selfless, beautiful, courageous…”

“I’m not any of those things. Those all describe North.”

The female android huffs. “I’m not selfless, first of all-”

Markus cuts her off. “Simon, do you remember the tower?”

Simon frowns. “Barely.”

“You pushed me out of the way of the FBI and took a few bullets. If you hadn’t, I would have died.”

Simon looks away. “... I’d do anything to save you,” he whispers.

“And _I_ would do anything to save _you_ , Simon.”

He hesitates to speak. “... Are you sure you want me?”

“I’m positive, Simon.” Markus smiles softly at him.

Simon blushes and smiles softly. “Thank you. That’s… I think that’s what I needed to hear.” He uncurls himself and stands. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turns and heads to the front door.

“Si, wait!” Markus calls, standing. He’s blushing a bit and smiling nervously. “I just… I hope you have a good night.”

Simon nods. “Same to you.” He leaves, shutting the door behind him.

“... I think that went… Okay,” Markus murmurs.

North smiles a little. “Let’s hope so.”


End file.
